


Broken Restraints

by elysedc



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: All Human, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 07:17:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysedc/pseuds/elysedc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella hasn't seen her best friend Jacob in a while. When she does, she can't deny the sexual tension between them, no matter how hard she tries. In the end, she can't help but give in. AH, AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jake's texts are bolded, Bella's aren't.

Bella was lying in her bed, working on her English paper when her phone vibrated. It was about 1:30 AM, so it couldn't have been her long distance boyfriend, Edward - he'd gone to sleep a couple of hours ago. She checked her phone.

> **Hey Bella! You in Seattle?**

It was from Jake, her best friend from high school. She smiled and texted him back.

> I am!

It didn't take long for his response.

> **Where are you?**

Bella laughed, delighted to hear from him again. It had been far too long since they'd talked.

> Haha, I'm writing a paper! Are you here for the weekend?
> 
> **Just til tomorrow :( you should come see me!**

Bella rolled her eyes. This was  _so_ Jake. She tried to respond positively so as not to hurt his feelings. She did want to see him, but it was a little late tonight.

> I wish I'd known earlier that you were around, I'd have come by. Where are you staying? When are you leaving tomorrow?
> 
> **Come see meeeeee!**

Ok, so he was drunk. She laughed, unable to be annoyed with one of her favorite people in the world.

> Is Lizzie with you? I still haven't met her! And I want to see you, but I really have to finish this paper.
> 
> **No! She's in Florida! You'll meet her soon. Promise.**
> 
> Haha good, I better.
> 
> **You're my main girl. Of course you'll meet her.**

Bella, smiling hugely, melted at this message, remembering just how much she missed her Jake.

> And you've always been my main boy! I haven't seen you in FOREVER! how is your life?
> 
> **Good. I really miss you. You're my favorite Bella in the world.**

Bella laughed, knowing she was most likely the  _only_  Bella he knew.

> I really miss you too dude!

She was excited to hear from him again. She knew she wasn't great at keeping in touch, especially since she started dating Edward. She got so wrapped up in him, she sometimes forgot to pay attention to her other friends.

> **Well, we should get together.**
> 
> We should. I wish you weren't leaving tomorrow
> 
> **Me too :( come stay here!**
> 
> Lol stay where? Where are you?
> 
> **At Quil's! University Way!**
> 
> Tell Quil hi for me, will ya? I haven't seen him in a while either.
> 
> **So...you're not gonna come stay with me?**

Bella's heart sank. She could see how his face would look, eyebrows creased, crestfallen. She could practically  _hear_ him saying it. Shit.

> You know I wish I could, but I really have to finish this paper for my class tomorrow. Plus it's like 2 AM!

She tacked on a "haha" at the end, so he knew she wasn't really mad.

> **You are a real bum. Come on...You're not gonna finish that paper tonight. You might as well just come stay with me! I'm not going to see you forever!**

She felt his words chipping away at her excuses, and he must have known that she would, because he added:

> **This is a once in a lifetime chance!**

It  _would_ be a while before she'd be able to see him again, not until summer at least...

> **I'll help you with the paper if you come stay with me.**

Bella would have laughed if she hadn't been so torn. This was an absolute lie - she knew there'd be absolutely no paper-writing once she got to Quil's place. Frustrated, she sent back:

> omg Jake, don't do this, you're weakening my resolve
> 
> **What does that mean?**

Yep, he was most definitely trashed.

> It means you're convincing me but it's so late and I can't walk over there right now, this is crazy! When are you leaving tomorrow?
> 
> **I'll come get you**

She paused for a second, thinking. When she didn't respond right away, he sent:

> **What do you think?**

Damn, he was persistent. She tried a new tactic.

> You never told me when you're leaving tomorrow
> 
> **I'm leaving at like 4 tomorrow. Do you want me to come get you?**

Relieved now, she laughed. 4 o'clock gave them plenty of time to hang out.

> Haha dude I can't right now, it's way too late, I'll come over right after class tomorrow. Promise.

That was a much better idea. Plus, she could probably use a shower.

> **Oh come on. Come over now! I'll come meet you. I'll keep you warm tonight!**

So, it was gonna be one of  _those_ nights. Bella frowned. She knew he was probably just joking around with her, for old time's sake, but it made her uncomfortable. They had a long history of sexual tension, but things never seemed to work out. She was genuinely happy with Edward, and she didn't want to have an awkward conversation tonight. So she made a joke instead.

> Omg Jake I can't, I'm sorry! Keep me warm tomorrow, k? I'll come right over after class.
> 
> **Bella...you're killin me. I NEED you to come cuddle with me tonight!**

God she missed him. This really wasn't fair.

> I'd like nothing more than to be your cuddlebuddy tonight but for real I HAVE to turn in this paper tomorrow

That was kind of an exaggeration - she just had to pick the topic she'd be writing on, but she really wanted to see him tomorrow instead. She  _really_ needed a shower - her hair looked awful - and shaving seemed like a pretty good idea, too. It was winter, and she had a long distance boyfriend. Leg hair tended to fall by the wayside.

> **Just like old friends. I promise I'll help you with your paper. Just come stay with me tonight. It's been too long since I've seen you.**

Damn it.

> Shit dude, you're killin me.
> 
> **I'll keep it up all night unless you come here.**

She laughed and then sighed, knowing he was right. Fine.

> If I say yes you'll come get me?

He responded in record time.

> **I'm serious...yes, I'll come get you.**

He must be serious, then. It was at least a 15 minute walk to Quil's, and it couldn't be more than 25 degrees out.

She stripped down and grabbed her phone and a towel, texting him back,

> give me 20 minutes

She ran to the shower and turned it on. She checked her phone again while she waited for the water to warm up. Jacob texted and asked for her address, which she quickly gave to him before jumping in the shower, going straight for her razor. She showered like a madwoman, shampooing her hair and shaving as quickly as possible. She got out, toweled off, and ran back to her room. She had just yanked on her jeans and a green tank top when her phone buzzed again.

> **I'm here**

Crap! Her head was still soaking wet. Squeezing it in a towel, she quickly fumbled for her socks and boots, almost tripping as she lunged for a sweatshirt, and ran downstairs to let him in.

She opened the door and peered around, looking for him. "Jake?"

His head poked around the corner of the porch. "Bella! Do you live in a sorority house?" 

Bella sighed but couldn't keep the smile off her face as her best friend ran to greet her, sweeping her up in a bone-crushing hug. She rolled her eyes and said, "Don't remind me. Come on, I need to get my backpack." 

She grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the cold, only to be greeted by three very drunk and very sloppy girls who had just gotten back from a night out. One of them grinned up at Jacob and pointed to her knee.

"I shkinned my kneee..." she slurred at him.

Bella rolled her eyes, but kept her mouth shut. She grabbed Jake by the hand and led him in the other direction, faintly annoyed by the way they gawked at him. "Come on, Jake. Let's take these stairs."

Jake turned around, looking questioningly at the three drunk girls as they giggled over another girl on the front staircase, who was lying on her back and babbling incoherently. "Um, do they need help?"

Bella just kept walking. "They'll be fine," she said, rolling her eyes again. "How are you? I haven't seen you in so long. How have you been?" She tried to keep his face in sight as she walked up the stairs, a dangerous task for her, even stone cold sober as she was.

Jake laughed. "Keep your eyes in front of you, will ya? It's already 3 AM, we don't have time for a hospital visit."

They walked into her room, and he sat down on the chair at her desk as she quickly toweled her hair. "So, what are you doing up here? Just visiting for the night?"

"Yeah, I'm on spring break and I just decided to head up here for the night at the last minute. Quil and I met up with Jared, Sam, and his girlfriend Emily for dinner."

"And you're staying at Quil's?" she asked, grabbing at various notebooks she might need, while simultaneously trying to dry her hair with her towel as much as was possible.

"Yeah, Quil's is the only place I have a bed. He lives in an apartment with his brother, but his brother's back at the rez for the weekend, so there's an empty bed. Got everything?"

Bella checked her backpack: phone, books, toothbrush, keys. She had everything. "Yep. Let's go."

They started off on the walk to Quil's through the dark quiet night. Jake looked at her and smiled. "So...you're in a sorority?" he asked, quizzically.

She blushed. "Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking..." she trailed off.

Jake raised an eyebrow. "What  _were_ you thinking?"

Bella shrugged. "I don't know. Mike was in a frat, I wanted to hang out with Mike, sooo... you know. Ironic, because now they're getting kicked off campus for hazing."

"I saw Mike today. Or…yesterday."

"Oh," she said, keeping her voice even. "That's cool."

Jacob laughed. "Not really. I was a real asshole to him, just because of you," he said with a smile.

"Aw, Jake," she said, grabbing onto his arm, linking hers with his. "Well, thanks."

"Of course. C'mon, Bella. You think I wouldn't have your back?"

She shoved ineffectually against his arm, and they both laughed. They spent the rest of the walk laughing and catching up, and soon they made it to Quil's apartment building. They all sat on the couch together for a bit, talking and watching basketball.

"So what have you been up to?" she asked Jake. "What do you do every day?"

"Well," he smirked at her, "I'm a psychology major. I go to classes, I play basketball for UCLA, and I go to the gym. That's basically what I do every day. What do _you_ do every day?"

"Well, Rosalie has been dragging me to yoga every day. I don't really like it, but she is kicking my ass back into shape. I hang out with her, go to class...and that's about it, I guess. I go back and forth from here to Stanford every other month to see Edward, and he comes here every other month."

"Damn, Stanford. And I thought UCLA was hard," chuckled Jacob. "How's he liking med school?"

"He really likes it," Bella said, smiling. "Of course, he's a genius, so he's a little more relaxed than your average Stanford med student. He's one of those people who have never gotten a B. It's like he was made for med school." The conversation meandered back to high school, and soon they were reminiscing and swapping stories.

After a particularly incriminating story about Jared and Kim, Bella yawned. "Oh man, I can't believe how late it is," she remarked lazily, looking at the clock. It was 4 AM, but she didn't feel tired at all - she was too excited to see Jake. ''I never up stay up this late!"

"I really need to go to sleep. I'm exhausted," said Quil, as he rose from the couch. "Jake, my brother's room is right there," he said, pointing to the door on his right. "Bella, you're more than welcome to stay if you want. My home is your home."

Bella smiled. "Thanks, Quil."

"See you in the morning, guys," Quil yawned again, trudging sleepily into his room.

Bella made for the couch, when Jake caught her around the waist. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

She tried to ignore the zing of electricity generated by his touch. "Um, making myself a bed?"

Jake shook his head, pulling her into Quil's brother's bedroom with him and closing the door. "We have more catching up to do, and way more snuggling." He sat her down on the bed and began taking his shoes off. "That pillow seems big enough, I think we can share."

Bella sighed and sat on the bed, kicking off her own shoes. She and Jake had fallen asleep together all the time in high school, and nothing had ever happened. She wasn't too worried about that, but she did feel a little guilty. Surely, there'd be no chance of this happening if Edward was here. She knew he wouldn't be happy if he knew, but she put the thought out of her head. Edward had always been a little possessive, but she knew nothing would happen. This was fine. This would be fine.

She grabbed a blanket and wrapped herself in it and sat against the wall, making herself comfortable on the small bed. Jacob walked over to the door. "Ok if I turn off the light?"

"Sure," she said, wedging herself into the corner of the bed and the wall, making herself as small as possible, just so there wouldn't be any awkward accidental touching.

Jake starting unbuckling his jeans and Bella drew the blanket closer around her. "Uh, Jake? What are you doing?"

"Taking off my jeans?" He looked at her, surprised. "I'm not gonna sleep in my  _jeans,_ Bella." He shook his head, as if she was the crazy one. "You could take off yours too," he said, smirking. "I won't try anything," he said, with a mischievous look on his face.

Yeah right, she thought. "I seriously doubt that," she said, trying to give him a stern look. "Besides, I...can't," she said, blushing hotly. "What would I wear?"

"Sure you can," he said, as he sat on the bed. "Just sleep in your underwear."

"I actually can't," she said. Did she really just say that? She couldn't believe she was about to admit this to Jacob.

"Why not?" he asked. When she didn't answer, he said, "Hello, earth to Bella - why not? It's no big deal," he shrugged.

"Because...I don't wear any?" she said, covering her face.

"Are you serious?"

"Obviously I'm serious. I don't know, remember Paul?" Jacob nodded. Paul was a year older than them and had come down from the Makah rez to stay with Jared the summer before they started high school. Bella had always had a crush on Paul, and he and Bella had dated for the summer. "Remember how much I liked him? God, I thought he was so cool," she giggled. "Well, one day he made some comment about 'freeballin,' and how it was so much better, so... I decided to try it. And, I don't know, I kind of just...never stopped."

"Wow. I can't believe I'm just finding out that my best friend doesn't wear underwear. It's kind of hot."

Bella cringed. "Oh, stop it. It's not like, all the time, I mean... I always wear underwear if I'm wearing a skirt or something. You have to do that," she babbled.

"You don't  _have_ to," her grinned at her.

She punched him in the arm. "Oh yeah, but that's only if you're  _extra_ classy," she snorted.

"I can't believe you're not wearing underwear," he said, surprised. "I'm kind of turned on right now."

"Cut it out, Jake!" she said, punching him again, and then covered her face with her hands. "I can't believe I just told you that," she mumbled into her hands. What had gotten into her? "This is so embarrassing!" She flopped down onto the bed, burying her face in the pillow.

"Calm down Bells," Jacob said, laughing. "You're fine, I was just kidding around." He lied down too, and situated himself so that he was sharing the pillow with Bella, putting their faces in close proximity. "So," he asked seriously, "How are you really?"

She softened. This was why she had come over. "I'm ok, I guess. I don't know. I definitely don't miss high school, because of those bitchy girls, but... I guess I kind of do miss high school in a weird way. It sounds weird, but I haven't made any friends like you, you know? No one has really come close to our pack of friends in high school."

"Yeah." He fidgeted. "Uh, Bella? Can we like, adjust?" Unlike Bella, whose arms were tucked into her chest, Jacob's large arms had nowhere to go, and he was trying awkwardly to drape them around her.

"Yeah, sure," she agreed. He extended his arms, and she fit herself into them, her head on his chest. She immediately relaxed. This was much better. Sure, they were much closer, but she felt better with their faces farther away.  _This_ felt like Bella and Jake, like a big hug, wrapped securely in his arms. She exhaled, the tension leaving her shoulders, and nuzzled into his soft t-shirt. "It's not that I don't have friends, I do. It's just...I don't know. Not the same. Like, I practically never get to see Alice, because she's in Boston. But when I do, we stay up all night, talking until we lose our voices, and it's like no time has passed at all. I've never felt that way with anyone here, you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean. I just visited Embry in Indiana last weekend, and it was the same way, like no time had passed." He rubbed his thumb in small circles on her lower back, moving his hand under her tank top.

"I don't like anyone I live with, except like 2 or 3 people," Bella admitted.

"Yeah, what's that about, Bells? You live in a sorority?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "I know. Would you ever expect that from me?"

"No," Jacob answered immediately. "It sounds like the kind of thing you'd hate."

Bella laughed, saying, "It is  _exactly_ the kind of thing I hate. 'Oh my god,'" she squealed, bringing her voice a few octaves up, "'Can I pleeeeease be your friend? Look how cute I am! Let me parade around in front of all these girls so that they can pick me to be their friend, pick me! Pick me!' Ugh. It's disgusting. Why do I want to be your friend? Why would I care that much? I don't even know these people, and I don't owe them anything. The whole thing just seems so...desperate."

"But you did it."

Bella cringed. "Yeah, I did. I'm a total hypocrite. I  _was_  desperate, just not in the same way...I was desperate for Mike. I was such an idiot."

"You were not an idiot," Jacob disagreed. "He was horrible to you, and he messed with your head. I could mess with  _his_ head if you wanted..."

Bella choked out a laugh, saying, "If I'm staying out of the hospital, you're staying out of jail, ok?"

"Ok," agreed Jacob with a smile.

They were quiet for a moment. "This is perfect," said Jacob. "Just some good friend-on-friend cuddling."

Bella smiled. She couldn't disagree. "Remember the time you came to my house, and my dad tried to cook us salmon?"

Jacob laughed. "I felt like I was on a first date. He kept trying to make us food, and you were like, 'No, Dad, we're fine-'"

"-and then he almost burnt down the house anyway? That was so awkward," Bella added, and the both laughed.

"We've known each other for over half our lives, you know that? It's so weird to think about."

"I know! I can't believe it. You were the only person I knew at Forks when I started, from fishing with our dads since we were like, 11, and now I'm almost 21. God, I had the biggest crush on you back then," she admitted thoughtlessly. Apparently, her mental filter had gone on vacation for the night.

"You did? Why didn't you say anything?"

Bella laughed. "Jake, are you kidding? You were so cool, and you barely knew who I was."

"Well then how was I supposed to know that you liked me?"

"Jake!" Bella hid her face. "Everyone knew. I  _loved_  you. I was new and no one even knew me, but  _everyone_  knew I liked you. It wasn't exactly a secret. I mean, everyone liked you, so it's not like that was news to anyone."

Jacob was quiet for a minute. "Why didn't anything ever happen between us?"

Bella paused, thoughtful. "Well, I never had enough confidence to talk to you in middle school, and then in high school, I met Mike." She shrugged. "Sooo then I had a boyfriend for 4 years."

"Fuckin Mike," Jacob said with a scowl.

"Yeah, I really bet on the wrong horse there, huh?" she murmured. "And then when I was finally single, you were attached. We just had bad timing," she admitted, more to herself than anything.

Jacob moved his arm higher up her back, to her waist, and tightened his hold. "We coulda been good, Bells."

She sighed, knowing she should stay away from this topic, but gave in anyway. "I know, Jake."

We would have been perfect. We..."

"What?"

Jake paused, evaluating. "Your life...our lives...would be so different..." he trailed off.

"I know. Do you ever wonder where we'd be now if things had gone differently?"

Jacob winced, unseen by Bella. "I try not to."

"I almost went to USC, you know."

"What?" Jake exploded.

"Yeah. They gave me some money, but it was still cheaper to stay in-state. I thought about it, because you had already committed to UCLA, and I thought to myself, 'Well, I won't know anyone really, but Jake would be close by,' and I was seriously considering it."

"Bella..." said Jacob, sounding pained. "If we'd been together, I'd definitely be at U-dub instead. I think to myself all the time how I should've gone here instead. I miss it here. I miss you."

Bella's breath caught. What about Lizzie? she thought to herself. If he came here, he never would have met her. How could he want that? But she didn't say anything. They were quiet for a moment. "It would have been so easy," said Bella quietly. "As easy as breathing. Like this - I haven't seen you in almost a year, but this feels totally normal."

"It feels like we did this yesterday, like we do this every day," Jake interrupted. "Promise we'll do this every time I visit?"

"Of course," Bella agreed readily. "Of course we will." It seemed perfectly natural.

"We should probably just get married one day." Bella burst out laughing, but Jacob continued. "I'm serious, Bells. Think about it, chances are Lizzie and I aren't gonna get married, and it's not like you're gonna marry this Edward guy, right?" Bella blushed in the darkness. She  _had_  thought about it. "We'll get married, and then we can do this every day. We'll have a fantastic honeymoon."

"Oh," said Bella, smirking. "And where will we go?"

"Hawaii. I'm thinking two weeks."

"Mm, sounds good to me."

"We'll have a little villa on the beach..." he trailed off.

"Sounds like you have it all worked out."

"I do."

They were quiet again. "What are you thinking about?" Jacob didn't answer. "Jake?"

"I...I was wondering…if," he said, looking down at her, "it'd be a really bad thing," he continued, meeting her eyes, "if I"-he licked his lips nervously- "made a move on you right now."


	2. Chapter 2

Bella froze. She tried to rationalize her reaction, deciding it was fear that caused her breath to catch in her throat. "I don't think it would be a good idea, no," she said, softly.

"Yeah, you're probably right," he assented, shifting away from her slightly. She could feel his heart thundering under her hand.

"Are you ok? Your heart is flying," Bella noted.

Jacob chuckled, a low, deep rumble in his chest. "You make me nervous, Bella."

His boldness made her nervous, and the irony was not lost on her. "I make you nervous? What are you talking about?"

"You've  _always_  made me nervous, Bella. I've always...wanted you. So bad, Bella." She gulped. "It's not even because you're sexy, although you know you are. It's because you're beautiful, Bells. You're one of those girls you take home to meet your parents. You're gorgeous."

"Jake!" She blushed furiously and he squeezed her closer, his hand rubbing her back under her shirt. "I didn't know you felt that way." Sure, they'd always had sexual tension, but she had no idea he thought of her like that...

"Are you kidding? Remember when we went for ice cream? I was so nervous..."

"Yeah," Bella laughed, "when you got your wisdom teeth out? I thought it would be soothing, because it was cold, and then you ordered oreo crumbs in it!" she giggled.

"Ugh, I was so nervous I didn't even think about it, and then I sat down and was like, awesome, good job, Jake, you can't even eat it," Jacob scoffed.

"I was so surprised," Bella giggled again. "I was like, 'What is he doing?' but I didn't say anything, because, I don't know... they're  _your_  teeth, maybe you could eat already? I didn't know... I can't believe I made  _you_  nervous. I remember right before, I was eating dinner with Angela and Jess, and all I kept talking about was how I was going to ice cream with you, and they were so jealous. I was walking on air!" she giggled again. "Remember that time we hung out at your house with Embry, and you guys got me so drunk, I was flipping out. I was so worried about Charlie and what he'd say..."

"Haha, yeah, we had to tuck you in on my couch. Actually, I thought there was going to be something between you and Embry..."

Secretly, Bella had thought so too, but she didn't say anything. They'd always had a bit of sexual tension too, but they'd never done anything, and she'd come to think of him as a good friend as well. "That was fun. You guys taught me how to play beer pong, and I told you both all about my whole sad story," she said, shaking her head. "That's all I was, all I thought about, for so long. Wasn't Tyler there, too? Oh jeez, him and Eric both declared their love for me freshman year of college. It was so ridiculous," she said.

"Are you kidding me? You had a line of guys just waiting for you to be single," Jacob said.

"It was only because we'd become close enough and I'd tell them my whole sad, pathetic story, again and again. They just felt bad, I think," said Bella.

"Ha! They loved it even more. It's because you're so innocent, you were like a little damsel in distress," Jacob said.

"A damsel in distress? Oh god," she said, blushing furiously and hiding her face against his t-shirt.

"Bells?" Jacob whispered, turning his chest slightly.

"Yeah?" she whispered back, adjusting so that he could move underneath her, when his face was suddenly much too close. She inhaled sharply, and her eyes widened as she took in his beautiful face.

He touched her face softly, moving his rough hand along her cheek. Her breathing turned shallow, and she felt like she couldn't catch her breath, and then he was moving closer, the stubble on his chin brushing against her and then - he was kissing her.

It was different than kissing Edward, his lips neither as full, nor as soft as Edward's, but it was gentle - full of tenderness. Her conscience screamed at her to pull away, but she didn't. She kissed him back. This didn't feel like they'd done anything, or crossed any line. In the logical part of her brain she knew they had, but it just felt so natural, flowed so easily between them, that she couldn't make herself pull away. This still felt like Bella and Jake to her.

Jacob breathed deeply, his free hand moving to the back of her neck. He pulled back enough to look at her, studying her face with his deep brown eyes, illuminated by the light of the LED clock next to the bed.

Bella's eyes widened, unable to move any more than this. She had no idea what to say. Why hadn't she stopped him? She couldn't pull her eyes away from his.

"We...this..." Bella choked out, no idea where she was going with this. It was as if he had kissed away her thoughts, and the only thing left in her mind was a swirling haze of her Jacob memories. He kissed her again. His mouth was hot, and it felt like there was fire radiating through her. Or maybe that was just the rest of him - his arms, his hands, overheating against her skin. Or was it her own skin that was that hot? She couldn't tell where his heat ended and her own began. He pushed her gently back against the pillow, his mouth moving in strange, unfamiliar ways with hers. His other hand, still against her back, found her bra quickly and unsnapped it, moving it out of the way. His large hand moved over her side to her breast, cupping it and rubbing his thumb over her nipple. She exhaled against his mouth, mid kiss, and he seemed to take that as encouragement. She wasn't entirely sure he was wrong, either.

He moved his hand down her smooth stomach, hesitating at the waistband of her jeans. At this, Bella's conscience seemed to unearth itself from the haze in her mind, and she panicked.

"Wait, wait," she breathed, trying to pull herself back together. "We can't. We can't do this." She continued breathing shallowly, trying to clear her mind. "We have to stop."

Jacob stopped immediately, pulling his head back and hovering over her. "Ok," he said, but he didn't sound resigned. His hand lingered on her stomach; his callouses lightly brushing against her skin. She shivered.

"Do you feel my heart now?" he asked, moving her hand to his chest.

"It's pretty fast," she said, giving him a small smile.

"And what about you? Yours feels pretty normal."

"That's because I...don't... I'm having, like, an out of body experience right now," she stuttered, not able to form coherent sentences.

"What are you trying to say? You're not making any sense."

"I still have more memories in the bank," she said weakly. "Want to hear some?"

He sighed. "Sure, sure," he said, settling himself back against the pillow with her. She resumed her previous position, nuzzling her head back into his chest, unable to pull away, to walk out and sleep on the couch like she should have. She resolved to change the subject to something, anything, to distract herself from what she was currently feeling. She wracked her brain for memories that involved their little group of friends, determined to stay away from ones that involved just the two of them. They made their way through their memories of senior year, and Bella cheered slightly when they got to spring break.

"I was so happy when you guys visited that day!" She enthused, injecting her voice with the right kind of energy. "I was so happy when I found out our trips would coincide like that." Why couldn't she stop thinking about the way his lips felt? "I wanted to go on that cruise with you guys, but-"

"You should have! Why didn't you?"

"Well I wanted to, but Mike only wanted to go to Mexico with that huge group..."

"We had so much fun, Bells, Embry got this huge suite, you know his parents, and we spent the whole time just getting trashed in there, it was so funny. You definitely should have come with us," Jacob laughed.

"I wish I could have been there, but what could I do? Charlie was weirded out enough with me going to Mexico, and there I was sharing a room with Angela and Jess. Could you imagine if I was like, 'Hey Dad, instead of going to Mexico with that large group of kids and parental chaperons, I'm gonna go on a cruise with the boys, you know, just me and 6 other dudes, no big deal,'" Bella joked. "He would have flipped. Not to mention Mike, and everyone  _else_. They came up with enough to say about me on their own, can you imagine what they would have said?"

"Hmph. You still should have come with us," he said, gruffly. "We...you should have come with us."

Another lull. And then-

"Remember those pictures I gave you for graduation?" Bella asked in a quiet voice.

"Remember? Bells, I still have them. They're hanging in my room," he said. Bella had gone through all the pictures on her computer and picked out all the good ones of her and Jacob, and gotten them printed professionally, to give to him with his graduation present.

"I didn't want you to forget about me or anything," she said softly.

"Bells, I could never, ever forget about you. Not ever," said Jacob.

She snuggled in closer. "You know that bracelet you and your dad got for me?"

"Of course," said Jacob. Billy Black had gotten her a finely made silver chain, woven into a delicate braid, and Jacob had made a charm for it: an intricately detailed carving of a wolf.

"I wear it all the time," she whispered, tears suddenly pricking her eyes. She breathed deeply, trying to calm herself, but her breath hitched in her throat.

"Bella? Are you ok?" Jacob asked, sliding her off his chest so he could look at her.

"I just miss you," she whispered, keeping her eyes down.

"Hey," he said, his hand taking her chin and gently tilting her head up, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes wide, she looked up at him through her lashes, not exactly sure what she was asking him for.

He kissed her again, his tongue making its way between her lips. His kisses were a little less gentle this time, his hands a little more urgent. They felt their way up her stomach, palming her sides as he made his way to her breasts. He squeezed them gently, and Bella sighed at his touch. The fire was searing through her body again, beckoning him to match its heat with his touch. He made his way to her jeans again, and again Bella panicked, but she didn't stop kissing him. Instead, she grabbed his hand and brought him back up to her breasts. Her jeans seemed to be the new line she could not cross, but this, this was still ok. More than ok. She wanted this.

He kissed along her jaw, moving to her neck, sucking lightly and nipping at the skin below her ear and under her jaw. There were small noises escaping from her, her breath coming in little pants. One hand moved along her stomach, and suddenly before she could even think, his hand was in her pants - and he wasn't moving hesitantly this time. He pressed a finger against her, the length of it pushing against her most sensitive spot. Before Bella had time to panic, he thrust his finger all the way inside her, strongly and deeply. Bella gasped, a little "Oh!" escaping her, and the line she had hoped not to cross burst into flames as he thrust inside her again and ground the heel of his palm into her.

Again.

That's all she could think. She  _needed_ him to do it again. He didn't disappoint, thrusting his finger in and out of her, creating the delicious friction that she needed to soothe the pressure building deep in her gut. His mouth moved from her lips to her neck and back again, sucking and nipping all the places in between. Bella's breath escaped in sharp little pants, and then he pulled his finger out of her and rubbed it against that spot, the best spot in the whole world, teasing the pressure even higher. He brought his hands back up to her breasts, squeezing them lightly and rubbing her nipples. She whimpered, needing more. He tugged at her bra, pulling it up, and she eagerly lifted her arms to let him take off her top. Anything to get him back down there. He followed suit, pulling off his thin t-shirt. She goggled at the wide expanse of his chest, the line from his narrow hips to his wide shoulders, his big arms...

He kissed her again, moving his hands back to her jeans, and she silently celebrated. He undid the button and unzipped her jeans, and she let him, desperate to feel him again. When he made to take her jeans off, she hesitated. He didn't really need to do that, did he? He  _could_  reach her perfectly well from where he was, she  _wanted_ him to, oh  _please_...

He pulled on her jeans again, so she lifted her hips and pushed her jeans down hesitantly, leaving them just below her butt. Apparently this wasn't enough for Jacob, who grasped them and pulled them down to her calves. As he worked to take her jeans completely off, Bella's squeezed her eyes tightly shut in alarm. She couldn't look. What was she doing? She lied there, holding her breath, as he peppered kisses between her hip bones, working his way down. His hands gently pulled apart her thighs, and this was bad, she shouldn't be doing this, she was a terrible person-

And then he was kissing her, his tongue stroking up, and she gasped sharply, biting her lip. His tongue dipped shallowly inside her and inexplicably she thought of Edward and the way he looked at her, and she whimpered - but this time there was as much fear as there was desire behind it, and Jacob stopped.

"Bella?" he asked. She couldn't answer. She couldn't move – she just kept her eyes tightly shut. He shifted, moving up the bed and stopping to hover over her. "Bella, are you ok?"

She couldn't look at him, so she kept her eyes shut tight. "I can't do this," she whispered brokenly.

"Hey," he said, kissing her temple, "it's ok, alright? It's ok. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you. We don't have to do this."

"I'm such a bad person," she moaned softly.

"You're not a bad person," he said, grabbing her tank top and bra. "I...assume you want these?"

She nodded miserably, taking them from him. "I can't believe I let you..."

"Hey, nothing happened, so don't worry, ok?"

Bella whimpered again. "What do you mean, 'nothing happened'?" she said, gesturing to her naked body before quickly pulling on her tank top.

"Ok, so I saw you naked." He swallowed loudly. "I've seen naked girls before."

Bella started, finally looking Jacob full in the face, affronted. "You've never seen a naked me before!" she spluttered, roiling with insecurity. She grabbed the blanket, wrapping herself in it. Where had he thrown her jeans? Flustered, she kept her face down, feeling around for denim.

"That's true," he admitted, "I've never seen a naked you before." He tried to find her eyes. "Bella, it's ok. It's just me," he said gently. She nodded but didn't smile. She felt miserable. "Hey, Bella," he said, putting his hands on her chin and turned her head towards him. "Bella, look at me." She looked up, reluctantly meeting his eyes. "I love you." He kissed her, and then pulled her in close. She hugged him back tightly, trying to explain without words how much she appreciated this. He pulled away after a moment and looked at her, pushing her hair off her face so he could see her eyes. "Well hey, think about it this way, now it won't be awkward when we end up together."

She smiled in spite of herself. "I guess that's true," she said. "But I still haven't seen you naked."

"Yeah, well...we'll just save that for the honeymoon, then."

"Ok," she said, smiling self-consciously. "Am I a bad person?"

"Definitely not," he assured her. He smiled at her, took her face gently in his hands, and kissed her. "You're so cute," he said.

"Yeah, well, I try," she said with a blush, looking down.

"No you don't," he said, gently tracing her lip with his thumb. "You don't have to."

She didn't look up. His words were sweet, but she still felt so awkward about everything that had just happened.

"Come here," he said, pulling her back with him and tucking her back into his chest. "Nothing happened, ok? We didn't do anything. It was...just a dream, ok?"

"Mm," Bella murmured. "Yeah. Just a dream."


	3. Chapter 3

_"Come here," he said, pulling her back with him and tucking her back into his chest. "Nothing happened, ok? We didn't do anything. It was...just a dream, ok?"_

_"Mm," Bella murmured. "Yeah. Just a dream."_

"Don't feel bad, just...forget about it, ok?"

"Ok," Bella said. She yawned.

"You're tired," he said heavily. "You should go to sleep."

"I'm not, actually, I'm really not. Even though it's," she sat up and glanced at the clock beside the bed "6:18 in the morning." She lied back down onto her back.

They lied together in silence. "What are you thinking about?"

Bella blushed. She was thinking about his big, strong hands and how they felt on her, and she definitely should  _not_ be thinking about that. She stared at the ceiling. "Um, I don't know. I...I feel bad. I'm sorry."

Jacob turned his head sharply, looking at her, but she couldn't look at him. "Why should you be sorry? What are you sorry for?"

Bella blushed, trying to think of what to say. "I don't know...giving you blue balls?"

Jacob laughed. "Bella, we didn't even do anything with my-"

"I know, I know," she said quickly, desperate to cut him off. "I just-" she buried her face in the pillow in chagrin. "You know what I mean," she mumbled. "I don't, I mean, I don't know," she said, flustered. "I just don't have a lot of experience."

"What do you mean? You don't like doing what we just did?"

"No! I mean, I do, but that's not what I meant, I don't know," she said, growing more anxious by the minute.

"Have you not had a lot of sex?" he asked confusedly.

"No, I mean yes, I mean I have, you know, but just...not with a lot of people?" Why, why,  _why_ was she telling him this?

"I don't understand what you're trying to say..."

"I mean, I've only ever... had sex with 2 people in my whole life, and Mike and I were both virgins, so, I mean..."

He barked a laugh. "Well, you get better eventually!"

"Well,  _I_ did, I mean I think..."

"What?" he asked, but Bella remained silent. "Bella, have you never had good sex? Like really, really good sex?"

Bella floundered, opening her mouth and then closing it again and again. She felt like a fish.

"Bella, you can tell me," said Jacob, and she could feel him turning so he could see her, but she couldn't look at him.

"Have you ever had an orgasm?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "I just, it's usually, you know...alone," she admitted, blushing fiercely.

"So you masturbate," he said boldly.

"Yes," she whispered, her blush turning crimson. She hated that he'd made her say it out loud like that. Oh well, it was her own damn fault for getting herself into this conversation.

"Have you ever had one during sex?" He asked incredulously.

"Kind of.." she said, thinking of the one time she had played with herself before Edward had gone down on her, bringing her to orgasm with his mouth. She considered it to be one of the greatest moments of her life so far. "But not while, like, you know, I don't know," she stammered.

"You've never had an orgasm during sex," he said in disbelief. "Maybe you only like when you do it...?"

"No," Bella disagreed quickly. "It's not like that, I just...It's just never...I just don't have a lot of experience, ok?" she finished hotly, attempting to hide her embarrassment.

"Bella," he groaned. "You should  _not_ have told me that."

"Why?" she asked, worriedly. He wouldn't say anything, would he...?

"Because now I want you even more. I can't believe you've never had good sex, now I just wanna..." He groaned again.

"Sorry," she said, half smiling. He was quiet. She knew he wanted to make her orgasm, to be the one who finally did it, and she  _wanted_  him to do it. _Badly_. She thought about how to say this. She thought that maybe, if he used his hands, that would be ok. After a while, maybe, she could just pretend she'd done it to herself, while thinking about him. She had done  _that_ enough times, anyway. If they actually had sex, that would be too much. But if he wanted to try and make her orgasm with his hands...she definitely wouldn't stop him. She thought about how to say that, trying to work up the courage to spit it out.

"So...you haven't done a lot of things?"

"Well, I don't know, Jake. That's kind of the whole point, I haven't done them," she said, giggling.

"Listen to you. You're giggling like a school girl," he said in a low voice.

"Well, I am a girl, and I'm in school..." she said, trailing off.

"Wow. That was a bad one, Bells."

"What! You totally set me up for it, what did you want me to do?" she asked, giggling again. She felt lightheaded from the sudden mood swing, but the truth was, she felt almost giddy at finally admitting this to someone.

"So you haven't done much, you've been with 2 guys, and you haven't even had an orgasm during sex? Look at you, you're so innocent." He pulled her close, kissing the corner of her mouth. "I think it's time," he said.

Bella immediately felt nervous at his words. These mood swings were going to give her whiplash if wasn't careful. "Time for what?" she asked.

"You know what," he said. She didn't know what. Time to go to sleep? For her to leave him alone, so that he wouldn't have to take any more of her teasing, of her stupidly letting things start when she knew she had to stop them? She couldn't say what she wanted to now, because it would be beyond cruel at this point. She sighed, having convinced herself that he must be about to tell her to just leave, to stop teasing him. He surprised her by kissing her, moving his hands across her back. "Time for you to see me naked."

"Um..." she started, unsure.

"You want to, don't you?"

"Um..." she said again. She  _did_  want to see him naked. Shit.

"That doesn't sound like a no," he said, fiddling with his boxers. He moved over her, pushing the blanket out of the way, and pushed his bare self against her.

"Wait!" Bella cried, truly panicking now. She wasn't ready for this. He was right there, pushing against her, and it felt  _so fucking good_  and then she realized he was  _doing_  this, he was trying to push  _into_  her, and she couldn't think. Shocked at how close they were, how close they had been, to...her brain seemed to be slogging along, moving as if underwater. "I mean, do... you have a condom?"  _What_  did she just say?

"No," he said.

"Then...I...I can't!" She said frantically. What was happening? What the  _hell_ was going on here?

Jacob moved slowly off her, and pulled his boxers on. He pulled himself up and sat on the edge of the bed, leaned forward, and rested his elbows on his knees. Her eyes hunted over his form, almost without her volition, drinking in his broad, muscled back.

He exhaled loudly. "Ok," he said. "It's ok. See?" He stood up and grabbed his jeans, pulling them on. "Look, I'm gonna put these on, so I'm not tempted..." He took another deep breath. "So we can't...nothing will happen. Ok? Just friends. It's fine."

Bella hadn't moved. She was breathing quickly, her heart finally reacting, hammering in her chest. They had been so close.  _So close._ She couldn't stop thinking about how it had felt, to be that close to him, pressed up against him like that...and he was huge. What was she, a slut? She'd never cared about... _size_  before, that's not what sex was about! Sex was about love and commitment and totally trusting another person to let go...but she  _did_ trust Jacob. Her thoughts of commitment paled in comparison to the raw, primal instincts surging through her. He  _was_ big, and years of evolution and adaptation told her that she  _wanted_ that. This wasn't a drunken mistake - well, not for her, anyway. But she refused to believe it was for Jacob, either. She believed every single thing he said to her tonight. This was real, and the husky edge to his voice told her that it was real for him, too. So fucking real. Raw. He wouldn't be gentle with her, or hesitant. She knew if she gave him permission, that would be the end - he would take her, right here, right now, fueled by need. This would be pure lust - not the slow, languid lovemaking she was used to, this would ignite like a fire: a scorching, screaming, blazing inferno and every part of her would combust. Her fears about ending up with Edward before she had even lived, already doomed to be a soccer mom at 20, swam in her head. She didn't want to break up with him, but she didn't - she  _couldn't -_ spend her life not experiencing anything, anyone else...not experiencing what it was like to be with Jake. Her Jacob. And she  _wanted_ him.

She sat up, covered in the blanket, and wrapped her arms around her legs, her mind swimming. She was still shocked by what had just, what had _almost_ just happened. With Jake.

She brought her hands to her head, more conflicted than she had ever been. She felt like she could pull her own hair out. "Jake," she moaned. "What are you doing to me? You're making me  _crazy_." Nothing less than she deserved, after what she'd done to him.

He smiled halfheartedly at her. "That's me, Bells. I'm playing mind games with you," he said sarcastically. If she hadn't known him so well, she might have missed the raw hurt she knew lived under his bitter sarcasm.

What the  _fuck._  She couldn't do this. She  _had_ to stop thinking about this. She definitely should  _not_ be feeling wet right now. She tried breathing deeply, but her head was spinning.

He lied down on his stomach, and her eyes raked over his hard chest. God  _damn_ his body. This would definitely be easy if his body wasn't so...

Stop it. She had to stop this. She flopped back down to the bed on her back. "Jacob."

He looked at her, smiling, but his eyes were hard. "You can't have me, now. I'm taking it back. Sex is no longer available. Jeans are on."

"Do you know how many times..." she trailed off. No. She definitely should NOT tell him this. Too late.

"What?"

Fuck fuck  _fuck._  She gulped. "How many times I've thought, thought about..."

"Thought about  _what,_ Bella?"

She looked at the clock. It was 7 in the morning. Maybe it was because she hadn't slept in a full 24 hours, but she felt almost drunk. Why the hell else would she be admitting this to him? "About you! About...about you...like that...pretending...Oh my gosh, I can't say this," she babbled, hiding her face in the pillow.

"I swear to god, Bella," he started. She knew she had used up his patience. What the hell was she thinking, doing this? Any of this?

"Thinking about having sex with you!" she exclaimed, smacking her hands to her forehead. "While I...you know," she finished lamely, rolling her face back into the pillow.

He pulled her arm, forcing her face back out. "Are you serious?" he asked harshly.

"Of course I'm serious, look at me!" she said, her voice full of anguish.

He took a deep breath, and his eyes suddenly looked unfocused. "That's kind of cool," he said distantly. "I wonder if anyone else has done that." He was mad at her. Of course he was, she deserved it at this point. But she could hear the way he worked to keep his voice even, and knowing him as long as she had, she knew the restraint behind it, and that's what kept her going. He wanted her too. This wasn't just a guy thing, this was a Jacob and Bella thing.

"Jake, are you kidding? Look at you," she said softly. And she did look at him, and  _damn_ his body, damn it damn it damn it...

She sat up. She was quiet for a minute, working up the courage to say what she knew she had to say. It was now or never. "Jake?" she said in a small voice.

"What, Bella," he said without inflection, his voice strained.

"If we...if anything happened...no one would know?" she whispered. He sat up behind her, looking at her, but she kept her eyes down.

"No one would know," he said fervently.

"You wouldn't tell anyone else?" she continued, whispering her fears aloud.

"Not a soul. No one would know but us. Just you and me, Bells."

That was all she needed. She grabbed his face, greedily pulling him toward her, until his lips were against hers, and now she kissed him with abandon, desperately seeking his lips. She closed her eyes, squashing the guilt in her stomach and moved on instinct alone. She  _needed_  him, and she needed him  _now_. Her hands moved to his jeans, shakily undoing the button and going for the zipper, when she found that there  _was_  no zipper, only more buttons. Fuck it, she couldn't wait that long. She slid her hand into his pants, looking for him. She had to feel him. Realizing what she wanted, he stood up and ripped his jeans and boxers off, and he came back to the bed. Her heart jumped into her throat when she realized he was naked, Jacob was _naked_ and in bed with her, and she was going to do this. She was  _going to do this._

She reached for him, gripping his shaft and running her palm down and up, from tip to base. Holy  _crow_ he was big. Maybe only a little bit longer, she thought, than anything she'd seen before, (not that there'd been much of  _that_ ) but much...thicker. She shivered, grabbing at his shoulders, his arms, and his back now. She wanted all of him. He pulled her down on top of him and rubbed the bundle of nerves that was just begging to be touched. She moaned. She couldn't wait any longer, she needed him violently, right this second, so she reached down, finding him, and guided him in. Wet as she was, he was just too big to push into her easily. She tried again, adjusting herself at the right angle...

Oh my god. He thrust into her, filling her completely, touching places she'd never even  _felt_  before. Holy  _god._ She couldn't think. She leaned forward, needing something to hold onto, but he pushed her back upright, gripping her hips tightly, rolling his hips into her.  _Oh._  There it was again. That spot she'd never felt before, reacting incredibly to the pressure of him inside of her.

He sat up then, holding her back steady with one hand, pulling on her calves with his other, straightening her legs out from under her. His hands pressed hard between her shoulder blades, and he shoved into her, rocking them again and again. She wrapped her legs around his waist and they rocked together, Jacob moving in and out of her, his hips grinding into her, touching all of her. She shivered, clutching at his shoulders. He shifted them to the edge of the bed, where he had better leverage, plunging himself into her over and over again, her body relishing the friction and the way he filled her so completely.

He stood then and she instinctively tightened her hold on his shoulders in surprise. He held onto her hips, his hands fitting all the way around them to grab the top of her ass, and bounced her against him. She gripped his shoulders for dear life, feeling him around her, against her, inside her...she couldn't feel anything that wasn't Jacob.

"Jake," she choked out. "Jake I  _need_  you." She was gasping now, reeling from the lust that ripped through her. And somehow, though they had never done this before, though she said nothing more than that, he knew  _exactly_  what she needed. Of course he did. He turned, pushing her down onto the bed, pinning her underneath him. For the first time, she opened her eyes and looked him full in the face. He was staring straight into her eyes, his face hard, his eyes blazing.

He captured her lips with his mouth, devouring her. He shoved against her, and she clutched at his massive shoulders, her nails digging into him, her palms slick against the sweat forming on his back.

"Jake," she breathed, trying to stay quiet. "Jake!" He was everywhere: on top of her, around her, inside of her, and rubbing against her as he drove into her. She could feel him everywhere at the same time, touching that place deep inside her while rubbing against the bundle of nerves that she was  _sure_ extended all the way through her  _entire body_ and it was  _too much oh my god..._

"Jacob, Jacob JacobJacob _Jacob OH!... Ja..."_ she screamed, and her whole body clenched. The pleasure flooding through her was so  _intense_  it might have been pain except that she'd  _never_  felt so good in her  _entire life_ and it was almost too much, it was so sensitive...

Intense sensations still shot through her from where they connected, where they fit together so snugly there was barely any room to move, but somehow he did move, he was  _still moving_... He slowed, moving slowly but deliberately now, forcing her fingers to twitch, maintaining the trembling in her legs.

He flipped her over on to her stomach, and although she couldn't fathom her body having anything left after experiencing what was, beyond a doubt, the best orgasm of her life, she felt inexplicably wet at the idea of him taking her from behind. He wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her to her knees, and reached for her breasts with his right hand, his left teasing himself against her entrance, before gripping her knees and spreading her legs farther apart, bringing his knees between hers. She wasn't so inexperienced to have never done it this way before, but never like  _this_ , never with her legs so wide, never with  _Jacob_... He found her opening and she knew she was slick with excitement, because she had  _never_  been so excited about _anything_ before in her  _whole goddamn life_  and if this feeling got any more intense she thought she might  _die_ and he thrust into her, his hands squeezing her hips, her ass, and pounded into her...

Bella's eyes went wide, her breath catching in her chest. He was so deep, she  _was_  going to die - of pleasure or pain, she didn't know. If she thought he had been deep in her before, she was wholly unprepared for how deep he could be, at this angle. She gripped the pillow in front of her and just tried to hold on as he pounded that place deep inside of her again and again until she was coming apart in his hands and she was saying something but she didn't know what and her  _whole body_  was clenching together at the same time - the pressure was imploding inside of her and she could not feel any more than she felt in this moment, her entire body humming to the same note.

He slowed, but didn't stop, still working inside of her. She gasped for air, leaning onto her forearms to try to keep herself from collapsing. His muscled arm gripped her around the waist and pulled her back hard, into his chest.  _Oh._  This new angle kept him in constant contact with this newly discovered pressure cooker inside of her. His free hand found the bundle of nerves that was surely close to exploding, and rubbed. Hard. The two pressures, one inside one outside so  _close_  and moving in tandem and  _oh god_ it was  _so much_  it was  _too much_  – and then she couldn't see or hear and it was all she could do to hold on, gripping his shoulders as her entire body vibrated, and she was barely conscious of anything but  _this_.

Slowly, she gained awareness of her own breathing, her chest heaving as she sucked in lungfuls of air. She fell forward onto her forearms, unable to keep herself upright, and Jacob slipped slowly out of her, releasing her to collapse completely.

"How was that?" He asked, his husky voice cockier than she had ever heard it.

She couldn't move. She concentrated on catching her breath, and shoved her hand at him.

"Did you just give me a thumbs up?" He asked, with a disbelieving laugh.

"Just...give me...I need..." She lie there, forcing incoherent strings of words from her mouth, trying to say what she meant, trying to say anything that made sense, at this point. He shook his head and laughed, pulling his clothes on, and gently placed a water bottle next to her.

"Relax, Bells. Just breathe," he said, grinning. She downed the water bottle in one go and collapsed back down on the bed, continuing to breathe deeply. Her eyes slid closed, and she kept her mind empty, allowing herself to remain suspended in this moment of utter bliss.

However, as much as she wanted to, she couldn't stay there forever...and the inevitable realization of what she'd just done settled over her. She grasped around the bed for her jeans, pulling them on feebly. He lay down next to her, waiting for her to gather herself. She looked over at him, searching his eyes, not sure what her face looked like. He did the same, and his face softened at whatever he saw there, his grin fading slightly. "Promise you won't tell anyone." He phrased it like a command, but he said it like a question. Certainly he'd never looked at her that way before.

"Of course," she agreed.

"Swear?"

Bella laughed lightly and looked into his eyes. "Who do you think I am? Of course I swear."

"Ok, good," he said, sticking out his pinkie, and her heart melted a little at the relic of their childhood. They linked pinkies and both kissed their fists. Then he wrapped his arms around her, and said softly, "Now, come here."

She obligingly snuggled herself into his arms and finally, warm in Jacob's embrace, nodded off.


End file.
